


Tipping Point

by cleo (miri_cleo)



Category: Body of Proof, Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Angst, F/F, Femslash, First Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-26
Updated: 2011-04-26
Packaged: 2017-10-18 17:04:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 8,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/191176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/cleo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Near tragedy in Boston changes the course of things for everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Glass Houses](https://archiveofourown.org/works/183358) by [cleo (miri_cleo)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri_cleo/pseuds/cleo). 



> References to the season finale of Rizzoli & Isles.
> 
> As with "Counterpoint" and "Glass Houses," this is set sometime before the Body of Proof season premier. I've also filled in Maura's history with something of a mix of book and television canons.
> 
> Thanks, of course, goes to futureimperfect for beta work!

Maura settled back into the pillows, sighing softly at how cool they felt against her neck.  She reached up to take the pins out of her hair as she resettled the phone against her ear.

“What are you wearing?” Kate asked.

“Just a classic black, Chanel dress with black Italian leather pumps...the ones that have the subtle beveling in the leather.”  She could hear Kate chuckle lightly. “Is that amusing?”

“No...but imagining your reaction to my wrinkling it when I take it of of you is.”  She could hear Kate settling, the gentle rustle of clothing and fabric.  She was probably on the sofa, probably still in the suit that she wore to work.  Maura could picture it vividly, but that wasn’t the same as holding Kate in her arms.

“I would be very careful with the blouse you are most certainly wearing, you know.”

“No you wouldn’t.”  Kate’s voice was soft, but it held something dark, something enticing. “You’re never careful when you really want someone, are you?” She chuckled and Maura felt her own color rise.  She touched her cheek to find it warm.

“There are moments...”

“I’ve already taken it off.  That’s what you heard.  I’ve taken it off, and you’re not here to see that my nipples are already hard.”

Maura drew in a shuddering breath. “Both the change in temperature and the stimulation of...”

“It’s you, Maura,” Kate said gently. “Just you.”

“Kate, I...” Maura could already feel the growing warmth between her legs, and she shifted on the bed, knowing Kate would hear it.

“You want me to touch you? To run my fingers up your back.” Maura closed her eyes, and she could picture Kate licking her lips in that moment.  It was likely that she was. “Push your dress up...wrinkle it under your fingers.”

Before she could even voice a protest, Maura was pulling up her dress, gathering it in her hands.  She sighed at her own slowness, at the way she teased herself without Kate having to ask.  It had been three week--too long since she’d felt Kate’s fingers on her skin.

“Black lace...on cream silk,” Kate said.  Maura knew she was smirking. “am I right?”

“Just black,” Maura whispered breathlessly, “all black.  Handmade satin from...”

“Take them off, Maura.”

And she did without hesitation, tossing them aside.  she pressed her hand between her legs, feeling her own heat against her palm, and she curled her fingers into herself, moaning softly.

“Tell me, Maura.”

“I’m...I’m stimulating the...”

She could almost hear Kate shaking her head. “No, Maura... _tell me_.”

“I...I’m so wet, Kate...”

“And if I were there...” She heard Kate’s breath hitch.  She was probably touching herself, probably just as wet, and that went without saying.  Maura squirmed as she pushed her fingers into herself.

“If you were there you’d be tasting me,” she finished, wishing it were so.

“Mmhmm,” Kate replied. “God, Maura, I want...mm, touch your clit, just...I want to hear you come.”

Maura was already touching her clit, and the silence fell heavily.  She whimpered softly, wishing Kate was there, missing her, missing her touch and forgetting every technicality of what they were doing.  “I want you,” she gasped, getting closer. “I want you, Kate, I want you...”

“Maura...” At the sound of Kate’s voice, the breathy need, Maura felt her  climax hit and she moaned loudly as her body shook.  As she calmed, panted, caught her breath, she could hear Kate’s breath quicken, could imagine her body shaking with her own orgasm.

“Kate...”

“You...mmm...you’re going to be here next weekend yes?” Kate was smiling, but Maura could feel herself drifting.

“Mmmhm,” she intoned, rolling on her side, almost feeling Kate next to her.

She could hear her chuckle softly, and if Kate were there, Maura knew she’d be stroking her hair. “I love you, babe.”


	2. Chapter 2

Kate hurried through the terminal, pulling her small bag behind her. It was warm outside and bright, but she almost hadn't expected it to be that way just based on what Maura's voice had sounded like. Instead of finding Maura waiting for her, she went directly for a cab and took it to the hospital. Kate hadn't even asked if Maura would leave, but she also hadn't thought twice about coming. If the fear and near despair she'd heard in Maura's voice nagged at her, she did an excellent job of pushing it all away. Maura needed her, and she was on her way.

She found Maura in a surgery waiting room, bent with her had in her hands. The blonde had not been forthcoming about her own ordeal, but it was already on the news. Kate found herself standing in the threshold, staring for a long moment almost as if waiting for Maura to notice her. Finally, Kate pushed herself forward. She went to Maura and gently lifted her up into her arms. "Maura..."

Maura met her eyes, and Kate saw some slight sense of relief wash over her. But was far from complete. She could feel the tension in the blonde's back as she held her. "You're here...I thought you would call," Maura said quietly.

"You're okay?" Kate held her at arm's length, and even though she knew the blood staining Maura's dress was someone else's, she felt her throat tighten. "You weren't hurt...you weren't... God, Maura..." She pulled her close again, holding her tightly as she squeezed her eyes shut. It was the first time Kate had let herself really think about the possibilities.

"Jane was...she made sure..." Maura shook her head and as she sat, Kate sat with her. She glanced around the room, noticing for the first time that it was full. In a small gaggle, she guessed, was the family, and there were detectives and uniformed officers milling about. "She's still in surgery," Maura finished.

Kate nodded, but her focus on Jane was distant.  She looked to Maura again ad brushed back her bright hair. “Did someone check you?”  She knew all too well how stubborn Maura could be.

“I’m fine.”

“Maura.”  The firmness in her voice brought the blonde’s eyes to her, and Kate held them with her own. “Did someone check you?”

“The EMTs at the scene.  I’m fine.” Maura’s eyes wandered back to the doorway, and she leaned forward, waiting.  Kate had been there before--anxious, tense, knowing too much to make not know what was going on bearable in the least.  She couldn’t fault Maura for that, but she was surprised that Maura hadn’t crashed yet.  She knew it was coming.

“Maura, let me take you home.”

“What?” Maura shook her head forcefully. “No.”

Kate stood only to kneel in front of her.  She put her hand gently on Maura’s knee and squeezed it as she smiled. “You might not feel it, but you’ve got to know that you’re exhausted.  You’ll do more good after some sleep and a decent meal.  So, let me take you home, and we’ll come back in a few hours...”

“No...” Maura stood, shaking Kate off, and Kate was quick to get to her feet as well.  “No, Kate, I’m not leaving,” Maura hissed, her voice forceful even though it was clear that she was thinking of those around them. “This is Jane.  She did this to make sure that everyone else was safe, and I’m not just going to leave while she’s here like this... No.”  She crossed her arms and brushed past Kate, heading for the door.

“Maura...”

“I’m going to find one of the nurses,” Maura said, and Kate knew that was the end of it.  


	3. Chapter 3

Kate followed Maura down the long hallways, but she did not hesitate to stop outside of the room.  It wasn’t her place to go inside.  It wasn’t her place to stand by Jane’s bedside.  Maura had not only shared part of the ordeal with her but she had also shared other horrors.  It was part of their jobs, and it was a part that she understood well.

She looked away, almost as if Maura could see her, when Maura pulled a chair close to Jane’s bedside and took the brunette’s hand.


	4. Chapter 4

_The night was an unusually quiet one, and the sunset--what they had seen of it from their dinner table--had been brilliant.  Kate sat on the bed, one leg curled underneath her, and stared out of the open window, into the darkness as Maura neatly folded clothing, sorting it into piles._

 _“Is this one yours...or mine?” When Kate glanced back, Maura was holding up a green sweater and knitting her eyebrows together.  She couldn’t help but smile._

 _“Take it.  The color always suited you.”_

 _“Oh, are you sure?” Maura was already putting it into the suitcase.  Kate was reminded once again that this was the last of her things--the things she habitually let at Kate’s and the laundry she had done.  The rest had already been sent.  They would be waiting for her when she got to San Francisco._

 _Kate turned back to the open window and breathed in the night air. “Do you want me to take you in the morning.”_

 _She didn’t turn, but she could tell that Maura stopped.  She could feel the blonde’s eyes on her back, and she wouldn’t let herself turn around--she didn’t trust herself._

 _“You’ll be late for work.  I’ve already arranged a cab.” Kate merely nodded as Maura started packing again, She swallowed the lump in her throat before she slid off of the bed to help._


	5. Chapter 5

“...are you staying?”

Kate blinked rapidly and shook her head as she tried to make sense of the words.  She finally focused on Maura, noting how tired she looked, how the skin under her eyes was dark.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“How long are you staying?” Maura asked again, her voice flat.  

In truth, Kate hadn’t thought beyond getting there, beyond seeing for herself that Maura was well.  There was a time where she would have been more cautious, where she would have made careful plans, covered all her bases.  She’d left a file open on her desk--she wasn’t even sure what it was--and she’d told Curtis she would call him at some point.  She hadn’t even looked at her phone.

But Maura was right there in front of her, and even that made everything else seem distant.  She took her by her shoulders and pulled her close, kissing her forehead gently. “As long as you need me to.”


	6. Chapter 6

Kate poured the steaming water over a teabag dangling inside an oversized mug, and she carefully walked with it into Maura’s living room.  The house didn’t surprise her, and though she found it almost sad, the fact that Maura hadn’t filled it with a family didn’t either.  Both of them had wanted that for themselves, but it seemed that neither had wanted it enough to really find the time.  She put the mug down and sat close to Maura, resting her hand on her knee.

“Jane is incredibly brave,” she said softly.  On the drive there, Maura recounted what happened as she stared out of the window.  and Kate had formed it all in her mind as she listened.

“I’ve always thought so.  Though...she’s noted the line been bravery and stupidity before, and sometimes she hasn’t any issues with  crossing it.”

“She did what she thought she had to.  You both went through one hell of an ordeal, Maura.”

When Maura put her hand on Kate’s, Kate smiled softly.  It was the warmth, the deliberateness of the touch that told her that Maura wanted her there, that she was needed in some small way.

“Thank you for coming.”

Maura hadn’t asked, but Kate wouldn’t have waited for that.  She merely leaned forward to kiss the blonde’s cheek and pull her into her arms, content as Maura’s weight rested against her chest.  A small commotion caught her attention, and when she looked up, she smirked.

“I can’t believe that turtle has gotten so big..”

“Tortoise.”  Kate could tell that Maura’s eyes were closed. “You remember when I got him?  You told me I might as well just get a goldfish.”

“And you said...” Kate chuckled, remembering. “You said that goldfish don’t have the lifespan for long term companionship...plus they require more overall maintenance, and therefore, clearly an intelligent and active tortoise was the more logical choice.”

“The most logical choice,” Maura corrected.  Her voice was soft, breathy.  Kate knew she was falling asleep, so she simply held her tighter, remembering how young Maura had been--how young they had both been--then.

The trips from Philadelphia to Boston had seemed like an adventure.  Though it was Maura who had done most of the traveling.  Somehow, they hadn’t needed sleep as much as they needed each other, and the time they snatched to spend together seemed to stretch endlessly even though it was never enough.


	7. Chapter 7

Maura felt a slow ache in her leg, and she knew it was pulling her out of sleep.  She felt cramped, constrained.  But she forced herself not to start awake.  If it wasn’t really over...if they were still there...  But then she remembered with vivid clarity what Jane had done and how difficult the hours of waiting had been.  She had been too tired to stop herself from questioning everything, and now it all seemed too real.

“Kate,” she whispered as she got her bearings.  Her living room was dark, but it was hers.  She recognized the feel of her sofa now.  She could see the glow of the street lamps outside.  And she knew who was there, lying behind her. “Kate, let me go please...”

“Mm...” Maura shifted, and Kate shifted with her, holding her for another moment before waking. “Sorry... I didn’t want to wake you to go upstairs.”

Maura shook her head, running her fingers through her hair as she sat up.  There were so many nights after difficult cases, after long days when she’d come home to an empty house.  There were nights when she’d made herself go to the bar, have a drink with Jane.  And those nights, she never regretted.  But now, having Kate at her side seemed somewhat alien.  She blinked away sleep, trying to reconcile it with what had just happened, with the life she had built that was slowly changing to accommodate someone else.

“I just want a glass of water,” she said. “Go ahead up.”

Before Maura could stand, Kate touched her arm. “Are you okay, Maura?”

“I will be.”


	8. Chapter 8

Kate did not realize how quickly she’d grown accustomed to integrating travel to Boston and visits from Maura into her routine until it had been disrupted.  She had forgotten the thrill of weekend travel and the way having a weekend guest made the days go by more quickly.  There were small traces of Maura at home, as well--the chocolates she liked, a sweater she’d left, or the dog-eared page of a magazine she’d picked up.  

The familiarity made Kate feel secure, but familiarity, she knew, was all too often nostalgia.  The incident in Boston left her with a backlog of paperwork, and it had been Maura’s weekend to come to Philadelphia.  Accordingly, the Boston PD was busy with it’s own affairs and clean up after that, so they spent the next weekend apart.  Kate didn’t feel too much guilt at not going.  Maura urged her that she was fine, and she had sounded tired.  Things would go back to what normal had become, and nearly a month later, Kate was hoping that was the case as she headed back to work after a lunchtime grocery trip.  She smiled when her phone buzzed and Maura’s name lit the screen.

“Hey, you.  I hope you still like meatloaf because I think I got everything from my grandmother’s recipe for tonight.”  She held the phone between her shoulder and ear as she started to go through the folders that had shown up on her desk.

“Oh...”  There was a silence that made Kate pause. “Kate, I’m sorry...I don’t think I can make it this weekend.”

“A new case?”  Kate sat heavily behind her desk.

“I need to bring Jane up to speed on what we have open, and I said I would go with her to physical therapy tomorrow.”

Kate ran her fingers through her hair thoughtfully, trying to decide if she would have gone to such lengths with some of the detectives she had worked with.  There were a few, but she had never felt about them the way Maura had presumably felt about Jane.  The conversation she’d overheard was clear in her memory--perhaps because she was not meant to hear it and Maura had never spoken about it.  

“I could probably still catch a flight there,” she said, already turning to her computer to try to book something.  Kate pushed her jealousy away, knowing it wouldn’t serve her just then...or any time.

“Let’s just plan for next weekend, okay?  I’m sorry, Kate...”  She could see Maura’s large eyes in her mind, and she sighed softly.

“It’s okay.  Call me tonight?”

“Of course.”

Kate closed her eyes to reality, but as she pinched the bridge of her nose, she couldn't push away the memories.


	9. Chapter 9

_Kate kissed Maura’s shoulder, tasting the sheen of sweat on her skin.  The sheets were damp and tangled around the feet, and she pressed her fingers into Maura again, wrapping her arm tighter around the blonde.  She pressed against Maura’s back and held her against her chest, and Maura moaned softly.  Kate could see that her eyes were closed._

 _She kissed Maura’s shoulder again, pressing her forehead against it, curling her fingers as she listened to Maura moan.  They were determined to make the night last, but Kate’s limbs were tired, and Maura’s hands were curling into the pillowcase, pulling it closer to her.  She could have fallen asleep like that, but she wanted to feel Maura come in her arms one more time.  She pressed herder, fingers to the blonde’s clit, as if doing so would give them hours that they didn’t have._

 _And in the morning when she watched Maura walk into the airport and turn to wave at her like a girl leaving only for a short time, she felt sore and stiff and empty.  She went home to strip the sheets, and she fell asleep curled in the sagging armchair as they washed._


	10. Chapter 10

Maura looked up from her desk as she heard footfalls, and she glanced to the clock on her computer screen when she saw Kate walking in.  She smiled to see the blonde; it had been too long, and Maura realized that she hadn’t felt the absence as keenly because she had been busy.  But with Kate there, she realized all the small things she had missed.  Kate was not smiling, though, and Maura’s faded at that.

She tracked the flight.  There were no posted delays, and weather conditions had been good, especially for the landing.

“Was there a problem with the car?” she asked, sensing a tension she had not anticipated.  

“The car?” Kate raised her eyebrows, shifting the jacket she had folded over one arm to one of the chairs in front of Maura’s desk. “The line I had to wait in to get one was longer than anticipated for priority--not that I anticipated waiting in line for a car in the first place.”

Maura bit her lip. “You didn’t get my message?  I finished an autopsy later than planned, and Mrs. Rizzoli asked that I pick Jane up from therapy--she’s still not cleared to drive.  I arranged a car...”

“No.”  Kate shook her head, her hair falling over her shoulders. “I didn’t get your message.”

“Kate, I’m so sorry.”  Maura wanted to go to her, but the tension seemed to grow tighter.

“I’m glad I called your house before I left.”

“I was just heading home.  I’m sorry...my phone needs to be charged.”  Maura bit her lip again. “Kate...”  She stepped closer and put her hands on the blonde’s upper arms, hesitating instead of pulling her closer. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Are you?”

Maura bit her lip again, and they stood that way until she stepped back.  Objectively, she was very happy to see Kate, just as she had been when they first saw each other again in Philadelphia.  but she had yet to completely admit to herself that it had been easier not to see her.  It had been easier not to admit that she felt torn because it was too precarious a position to be in.  Kate was more than safe; she was perfect--the memory of what they’d had together, for Maura was perfect.  But the reality of it had Jane, and Maura had been able to live with that until she’d been faced with almost losing Jane.  

“Kate, I... Things have been busy, and...maybe we should talk.”

“I should have told you this...”  Maura watched as Kate chuckled, but there was no joy in it.  It seemed helpless, lost. “I heard what she said to you in the conference room in Philadelphia, and Maura I...I can only guess what prompted it.”  Kate shook her head, and this time, Maura felt helpless as well.  She hadn’t realized how often lately she’d thought back to that day.  “And I know even if you still had feelings, you wouldn’t act on them...you’re too good a person.  But regardless, I think we need...some time.”

“Kate, no...” Maura felt a sudden emptiness.  It was the emptiness she realized she should have felt the first time she said goodbye to Kate, the time she waved and smiled as if they would see each other again in a matter of hours.  It was the emptiness that did not hit her until weeks later when it was too late to realize what it fully meant. “Jane is...” She shook her head desperately. “It’s complicated.”

But Kate was taking her coat from the back of the chair and pulling it on deliberately. “Figure it out, Maura.”


	11. Chapter 11

Kate wondered, somehow, if the plane ride was any different when it were only the first time you’d said goodbye.  She hadn’t had much youthful optimism then, and she hadn’t been the one leaving.  

She decided that Maura had probably suffered it easily.


	12. Chapter 12

There were some nights when one simply didn’t want to drink alone.  and it was one of those nights where Megan realized that she actually wanted company--company in the sense of a crowded room of strangers.  That was enough effort for her, and she went in the bar expecting to find a spot and a decent glass of wine.

What she did not expect to find was her boss calling or another of something with the definite and wordless gesture of someone who was in no mood to spill her problems.  But beyond that, Megan could see the dark circles under her eyes--circles that seemed to be ever present as of late.  And she asked herself when she started noticing these things about Kate.  The when wasn’t really important though.  The why, however, was.

“Kate.” At the sound of her name, the blonde didn’t look up, but Megan took one of the seats beside her anyway.  She picked up the wine list. “I thought you were gone for the weekend.”

“Obviously,” Kate said, tone flat, “not.”

Megan merely raised her eyebrows, and she took the moment to order a spritz, even though it was too late in the evening for one.  She had a feeling this encounter was going to require that she keep things light on her end. “Fights happen.”

“Sure they do.”

With that ruled out, Megan knew it was worse.  A fight was always the most mild of wrongs to drink over, and Kate, she could tell by the bloodshot eyes, had been doing enough of that for the night.  To her credit, she held it well.  But Megan knew her better than they both realized.

She was saved from careful prodding to tease out what was only half obvious when Kate downed the last of her drink and turned to her. “I should have listened to you about that detective.”

“Okay,” Megan said, drawing out the word as she slipped off of the stool.  The drink was going to have to wait. “Let’s get you home.”

“I’m fine, Megan.” Kate drew in another breath to continue, but Megan recognized the obvious shift in her thinking. “But you should stay.  Have a drink with me.”

“Under normal circumstances...” Megan realized she meant that more than she had intended, but this wasn’t the moment.

“Oh, for God’s sake, Megan, what do you think normal is? Sit down.  Have a drink.”

Megan shook her head, smiling almost sadly, but Kate cut her off again, leaning forward. “Unless you really do want to get me home...then it’s your lucky night.”

Kate put her hand on Megan’s arm just as Megan was shouldering her purse.  She paused, catching the blonde’s bright eyes, and for a moment, she felt lost.  It was so much of a temptation that Megan licked her lips.  But she shook her head and sighed internally.  It wasn’t that she had been in Kate’s position not too long before.  There was more to it, and she wasn’t willing add Kate to a list--damned if she knew why.

“Fine.  Then I’ll have your drink too,” Kate said, charm instantly disappearing as she turned back to the bar.

“Kate...” Megan stepped behind her, close enough that she knew Kate would feel her breath on her ear. “You’ll thank me for this later, but right now, I’m going to get you home.  What you do when you get there is your own business.”  She watched the blonde shiver, and before Kate could put up much of a fight, she took her wrist and gently prodded her to her feet. “Let’s go.”


	13. Chapter 13

As Megan drove, Kate leaned against the door, staring out at the street lights as they passed.  Megan glanced at her from time to time.  She remembered that paralyzing time after something ended, where everything seemed stopped, poised to move to something new.

“I’m sorry, Kate.  It was...obvious that you cared about her.”

“Frankly, if you’re not going to come in and go to bed with me, Megan, I don’t really want to hear it.”

Megan chuckled, shaking her head.  A month before, maybe weeks, she wouldn’t have thought twice about driving Kate home and following her inside.  But she was slowly coming to realize that empty pursuits only left emptiness behind.  And she wanted to know Kate better than that.  There was no need to continue the conversation though.  Megan knew when to quit.

When she stopped the car, Kate didn’t protest at Megan rounding it and opening the door, helping her out.

“Drink water, take aspirin.  Or don’t,” she said as she walked Kate up to the door. “Depends on just how long you want to continue this little punishment.  But I’ll be in my office in the morning.”

Kate rolled her eyes as she fumbled for her keys, and Megan didn’t try to help.  She turned to go when Kate finally got the right on into the lock.

“Megan...”

As she turned, they were closer than she expected, and Megan drew in a long breath.  She could almost feel the heat radiating from Kate’s skin.  She stepped back.

“Don’t order any unnecessary tests.”

Megan merely shook her head. “You’re welcome,” she said as she walked back to the car.


	14. Chapter 14

Kate resisted the urge to run her fingers over the sleeve of the cashmere sweater as she folded it and situated it neatly near the top of the box.  There were only a few things--pieces of clothing left behind or at the cleaners.  She knew Maura would want them back.  In knowing that, she almost donated them.  But Kate couldn’t let herself be that vindictive.  No matter how much it hurt, she reminded herself that this wasn’t the first time, that she had willingly walked into this again.

She was about to tape it up when the doorbell range, and she furrowed her brow.  It was the middle of the day.  When she opened it to find Megan Hunt standing there, she frowned.

“Two days off in he middle of the week.  Must be good to be the boss.”  Megan was smiling, but she was smiling in that way she did when she was suspicious, when she wanted to know something.  She brushed past Kate inside, and Kate shut the door, knowing better than to push back until the time was right.

“Shouldn’t you be working?”

“You know what they say about the cat being away...”

She rolled her eyes and went back to taping the box as Megan watched. Kate remembered all too well Megan getting her home, and she was hoping that her behavior wouldn’t come up.  

“You’ve missed two days, Kate.  What’s going on?”   

Kate shook her head. “We all have vacation days, Megan.”

“And yet none of us take them, especially you.”  She looked up as Megan sat down. “You’re sending her back her things?”

“If it’s any of your business.”

“Kate...” The way Megan said her name made Kate pause, made her look up.  She wasn’t sure she’d seen Megan’s eyes so soft before. “Look, I’ve been here and not too long ago.  Give it all to Goodwill and move on with your life.  You’ll feel better.”

Kate narrowed her eyes at the presumption, even though she knew Megan was almost entirely right.  She had picked up and moved on from a long marriage, and Kate was almost sure that she had lost some of her humanity.  Now she thought she might have been wrong.

“I’ll be back tomorrow.” Her tone was flat.  She met Megan’s eyes, and she felt a tension that had not been there before.  Kate blinked, not ready to acknowledge it.

“Good,” Megan said, standing finally.

“Now get out,” Kate said, turning away from Megan.  She listened as the brunette showed herself out.  And as she sank down on the sofa, she stared at the package.  Megan was right.  It was time to move on, and it was curious as to why the brunette cared.  But she had been easier to see as brusque and prickly.  Kate wasn’t sure how to interpret the rest, but as she squeezed her eyes shut against a headache, she realized that she appreciated the kindness.


	15. Chapter 15

Maura smiled as she presented the bottle to Jane. “Fermented apple soda.”

“You mean like...” Jane held the bottle up, letting the light shine through it, “cider?”

“In the softest sense possible,” Maura answered. “I’m sorry, Jane, but with the medication you’re taking, you don’t need a beer.  And the physical therapy will be over soon enough.”  It had been so long since she cared for a living, breathing patient.  And Jane was a difficult one.  But Maura was surprised by the unspoken routine they fell into, just as they did when they were working.  And she was surprised by how much she missed Jane at work, especially without the occasional emails or texts from Kate to fill her days.

“Yeah, yeah.  You gonna give me a little straw with it too,” Jane was saying as the doorbell rang. Maura merely chuckled, shaking her head as she went to the door.

She was surprised to be handed the small package--she wasn’t expecting anything.  But the handwriting on the label slip made her smile disappear.  Kate’s hand was distinctive, strong with a little flare.  Maura felt her heart in her throat as she signed for it and took it inside.  She already knew what would be in it, and much more than that, she knew she had waited too long with no decision.  Kate made it herself.

“What? Not the postman you were expecting to see?” Jane glanced to the package and back to Maura’s face, and Maura watched her smile fade too. “What’s that?”

“Nothing,” Maura said quietly, her voice barely a whispered.  She cleared her throat as she shook her head and repeated it, more soundly. “Nothing.  I’ll deal with it later.”

“It’s okay.  I don’t need you to sit here and entertain me, Maura.  I’ve got my apple juice...I’m good.”

Maura forced her smile and ran her fingers over the tape.  She wanted to put it aside, but if she did, she knew she might push it away, never open it.  It hadn’t been this hard the first time.  She’d had things to occupy her time, things to discovery--a new life to build.  This time, she had integrated Kate into everything she had built, into what was normal.  It would be difficult not to be reminded of her.

“It’s just some sweaters, I’m sure,” she murmured as she searched for a letter opener and finally settled on getting through the tape with her keys.  Maura sighed when she pulled out the sweater on top--pink cashmere that Kate bought for her. Without thinking she pressed it to her face, breaking the scent of Kate’s bedroom.

“You okay?”

“Fine,” Maura said, folding the sweater with mechanical precision.  Inside with the rest, she could see a scarf and the pair of running shoes she’d left there so as not to have to travel with them.  If there was more, she did not dig for it, instead sitting the box aside before turning back to Jane.

“I can see the return label, Maura,” Jane said, voice suddenly serious. “Are...are you sure everything’s okay?”

Maura looked up, catching Jane’s wide, dark eyes.  She couldn’t answer.  She couldn’t say for sure that it was.  But there had been so little time to think.  At least, Maura hadn’t allowed herself that.  She remembered finally settling in only to realize that she was lonely, that she had her favorite sweater but no one to compliment her on it, that there were so many little things she didn’t realize she’d grown accustomed to--the way Kate organized the take-out menus, the way her hair smelled.

But she had been too young then and perhaps too idealistic.  Now, she felt caught, and Jane, she realized, was more observant than Maura had given her credit for.

“We were both too old for the distance,” she said.  It was partially true, and Maura didn’t want to talk about the rest. “I’m fine, Jane. Really.”

She flashed a quick smile and moved to take the box away when Jane put hr hand on her arm.  Jane’s smile was very genuine, and it gave Maura pause.  She drew in a soft breath as the moment came to a close and Jane’s hand dropped away.


	16. Chapter 16

Kate was pacing back and forth, phone pressed to her ear.  Megan had stopped counting the times she’d passed her open office doorway.  She’d done several things, finished for the day, but wasn’t until she saw Kate hang up that she gathered her things and headed down the hallway.  She did not knock.

“Finished?”

“Not hardly,” Kate snapped.

Megan raised her eyebrows, but it didn’t stop her from walking all the way in.  She didn’t stop until she reached the desk. “Even I know when it’s time to stop,” she said, smirking.  And Kate hadn’t stopped since she came back to work.  the rest of the staff saw it as their boss on the warpath, but Megan knew better.  She knew because she had lived it, and she found she couldn’t ignore it--she didn’t want to ignore it.

“Megan, I’m not in the mood.”  Kate didn’t look up, but Megan could tell she wasn’t really reading what was in front of her.  She leaned down, still smirking.

“You need a drink.  So do I.”  She waited for Kate to look up, and when that didn’t happen, Megan rounded the desk, standing over her as the setting sun cast a glow on the room. “Let it go, Kate.”

The blonde snapped her head up, and Megan knew the statement hit home as ended.  She put her hands on her hips, watching Kate narrow her eyes as she stood.  They were too close, and Megan didn’t mind it.  What scruples she’d had, she could only hold onto for so long.  And it seemed like Kate needed a wake up call more than a friend.

She expected a fight.  She expected the tension to mount, to come to a head like it should have before Maura entered their lives.  But Megan did not expect Kate to kiss her.  She stumbled back, but Kate held on.  And it didn’t take Megan long to recover and press back, her teeth catching Kate’s lips.

“You were saying?” Kate asked as she pulled away, her tone rasping but emotionless.  Instead of answering, Megan kissed her again, this time pressing her back into the edge of the desk, forcing her to slid onto it, knocking the papers she’d been pretending to read onto the floor.

The door was still open, and Megan was all too ware of it.  But she wasn’t going to stop until Kate realized it.  She pushed, pushing the blonde’s legs open as she ran her fingers through her hair.  

“So you refuse to take me home because you were waiting for what?” Kate asked breathlessly. “This?”

“You’d like that,” Megan quipped as she slowly ran her other hand up one of Kate’s thighs. Megan dropped her other hand to Kate’s chest, and she slowly started to unbutton the blonde’s shirt, glancing at the door one last time.

“You talk too much.”  Kate leaned forward and began to kiss up Megan’s neck, nipping at her ear hard.

That, Megan decided, was license to continue, and she pressed her hand underneath Kate’s skirt, pushing her legs father apart.  Kate’s panties were lace, but Megan didn’t take the time to really feel them to tease.  Instead, she pushed into the blonde, sucking in a breath at how wet she already was. Kate threw her head back to moan, but Megan caught the sound in a kiss.  She pushed her fingers inside of Kate’s shirt, under her bra to scrape her fingernails over one of the blonde’s nipples.  

If she had ever fantasized about this moment, it had not been so quick, so frantic.  But Megan didn’t mind that.  She was aware of the quiet of the hallway, how it might be broken at any time.  And there was no explaining the position they were in.  Megan felt Kate grip the front of her blazer as she pressed her thumb to her clit, holding it there for a moment before beginning to circle.  

This was enough of what she wanted that Megan was wet too, but she realized she hadn’t wanted it like this--not really.  Her resolve, though, only extended so far.  It was clear Kate wanted more than a friend.  She glanced up at the door again.  They weren’t in their twenties any more, and there was only so much time such a venture could last.  But she kissed Kate’s neck, sucking the skin gently before moving to the next tender spot and moving again, working her way down past Kate’s collar.

“Let go, Kate,” she said as she thrust hard into the blonde. “Let it go.”

As Kate pressed her head into Megan’s shoulder, the sounds she made where muffled, but she lifted her hips, pressed back.  The moment drew on so that Megan was unsure if it was really real.  The setting sun splashed the room in red, and she gasped out loud when Kate shuddered with her climax.


	17. Chapter 17

When she'd finished putting the groceries away, Maura walked into the living room, pushing strands of hair behind one of her ears. She watched as Jane stretched for the remote, gritting her teeth until she caught it with her fingertips. Unfortunately, she merely knocked it to the floor. "I put the groceries away, but you relay should reconsider your cabinet system."

"What--'it fits and the doors close' doesn't work for you?" Jane flashed a smile. "You didn't have to do that, Maura. I could have managed.”

"I don't mind," Maura said, kneeling to pick up the remote. As the reached for it, more hair fell from the loose ponytail she was wearing. when she got it and glanced back up, Jane was bending to do the same, and she could feel the brunette's breath.

"Here it is," Maura said softly.

"Yeah..." Jane didn't move, and Maura didn't think before closing the gap between them, before pressing her lips to Jane's in a kiss that was almost chaste.

Jane's lips were warm, slightly chapped, and they were opening under Maura's. But Maura pulled away once she realized what she was doing. She felt her cheeks flush. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," Jane said quickly, shaking her head. "I mean...no...I don't mind, Maura. Not...not like 'oh, I don't care,' but more..." Rather than let her continue to ramble, Maura leaned up and caught her lips again, this time kissing her in earnest. But she was still cautious. This, she knew, could hurt her too much.

Without breaking the kiss, Maura moved onto the sofa, and that put Jane even closer.  She could feel the air between them vibrating with warmth, but she still held back.  She did not push perhaps because Jane did not move.  It could be difficult to find a balance with Jane, and in this, Maura wanted to be absolutely sure.

“Are you sure?” Maura asked breathlessly when the kiss broke.  She held Jane’s dark eyes even though she was almost afraid to, and she watched Jane slowly nod.

“Are you?”

Maura reached, hesitating half a moment before touching Jane’s cheek with her fingertips. “Jane,” she said, half unable to truly voice Jane’s name.  She sighed softly before pulling Jane close, gently, running her fingers through her hair as she kissed her again.  The question was unsettling, but Jane felt familiar, safe.

Maura breathed in her scent, realizing she knew it well.  She ran her fingers down Jane’s back, over the worn fabric of her t-shirt.  Even with her eyes closed, she knew the color blue and how it was brighter against Jane’s skin.  And she could feel Jane letting go, moving forward into her arms.

“Maura,” Jane said softly, half pulling away. “I...you’re sure...I mean...with me?”

The question had so many possibilities, so many dimensions, and Maura did not know where to begin.  Was her mind really elsewhere or was Jane trying to stall?  She pulled away but not abruptly.

“Stay here...I’ll be right back.”  she pulled away, standing and giving Jane a reassuring smile--a smile that she tried to reassure herself with in making it.  

Maura went through Jane’s bedroom, into the bathroom where she looked at herself in the mirror.  She quickly pulled her hair down, running her fingers through it.  The action was familiar, calming.  She thought of her routines, how they had gone back to what she knew since Kate was gone.  But she pushed the thought of Kate away as she shed her dress, and pulled on the bathrobe Jane kept hanging on the bathroom door.  It might have been presumptuous, but it at least would make her intent clear and not allow for her own thoughts to tell her better.

When Maura returned, her hair fell over her shoulders in waves, and she resisted the urge to push a strand from in front of her eyes.  She took a deep breath before really stepping into the room, and when she did, she saw Jane’s settle on her.  The brunette slowly pushed some of her own unruly hair back and blinked as if to clear her eyes of a lash.

“Maura, what’s...up...” Jane cocked her head and half closed one eye.

Maura felt a sense of relief wash over her.  She knew what to do with this--with Jane’s momentary confusion.  Slowly, she untied the sash, letting the robe fall open just slightly.  She stood for a long moment, letting Jane look at her, from the delicate lace of her panties up to the curves of her breasts only just hidden by her lingerie.  Finally, she sauntered over to Jane, taking advantage of the brunette leaning back on the sofa to straddle her lap.

“I want this,” Maura said, parting the fabric and letting it fall off of her shoulders.  She watched as the recognition play over Jane’s face, slowly developing.  Maura was smiling, and Jane hesitated before putting a shaking hand on her hip.

“Jesus, Maura, you look...” She shook her head wordlessly.

Maura smiled as she ducked down to kiss Jane softly.  She cupped her face, rubbing her thumbs over Jane’s cheeks.  This...this could be happiness, she thought.

“I don’t...uh, I’m not sure how to...”

“It’s okay,” Maura whispered, the full scope of what she had guessed some time before becoming apparently. “I’ll show you...”

“O-okay,” Jane said softly.  Maura felt Jane gripping her hip, and she let the robe slide off.  It fell to the floor heavily.  

Maura kissed her again, tasting her, and she could tell that Jane was comfortable enough with just that.  She could tell that Jane could be content.  But Maura wasn’t ready for the kind of focus that contentment could bring.  She licked her lips lightly as she ran her fingers down the front of Jane’s shirt.  She didn’t need to ask whether Jane trusted her, but as she slid off of the brunette’s lap, sinking to her knees, she could see the questions returning to Jane’s face.

Without a word, Maura unbuckled Jane’s belt, and she could hear Jane drew in a sharp breath as she slide the button of her pants out of its hole before unzipping them.  Maura tugged carefully, and it took a moment for Jane to shift her hips to allow Maura to pull the pants off of her.  She glanced up to see that Jane was blushing.  Maura laid the pants aside and gently ran her fingers over Jane’s panties, feeling her warmth.

When Jane squirmed, she bit her lip, dipping her head to softly kiss the inside of one of Jane’s thighs.  When Maura ran her fingers under the top band of Jane’s panties, Jane did not hesitate to move, to shift so Maura could pull them off.

“God, Maura...”

She didn’t wait, and when Maura tasted Jane, she moaned softly.  She flicked her eyes up, catching sight of Jane as she let her head fall against the sofa.  And then Maura let herself close her eyes and simply feel Jane, tasting her, circling her clit with her tongue.  Slowly, she pressed two fingers inside of Jane, and Jane gasped.

Maura knew this, and she knew that Jane knew it too, that it wasn’t too far away from what was comfortable.  She knew that pushing Jane too quickly would only close the brunette off to her, and she wanted this.  She wanted to show Jane this as much as she needed it for herself.  Maura sighed into Jane, and time seemed to disappear until she felt Jane shaking, until she heard the rasping of a low, soft moan that only grew louder.

It was easy to lose herself in this, just as it had been easy to lose herself for a night with Megan.  This time, Maura didn’t fight it.  She straddled Jane again, kissing her softly, letting her taste herself.  And when the kiss broke, she rested her forehead against Jane as she ran her fingers through her hair.

“That’s it?” Jane asked breathlessly. “I mean, not that I’m complaining... I just.. This is why you came to me that night?”

It was more than that, so much more that Maura couldn’t begin to tell Jane.  And it still hurt to think of that night.  It hurt  more to think of everything it led to, of what she was trying not to think of then.  She closed her eyes as she shook her head.

“Not just this, Jane...”

“Maura...”  She could feel Jane’s hands on her hips, moving up slowly, tentatively over her back.  Maura caught one and pushed it up to her breast, pressing her weight forward to show Jane what she wanted, and she shuddered as Jane gently ran her fingertips over her nipple, feeling it through the thin fabric.

Jane ran her fingers along the band of Maura’s panties, and Maura opened her eyes to see the brunette gazing up at her, dark eyes asking the unspoken question,  Maura nodded, and she felt Jane push the lace aside, gently press her fingers past her lips.  She moaned softly, and she heard Jane gasp as she closed her eyes again.  Jane’s scarred hands trembled slightly, and Maura nearly shook with the effort not to thrust herself onto Jane’s fingers.

“Like that,” Maura whispered as Jane slid a finger into her. “Just like that...”

She arched into the touch, pressing herself into Jane, crying out but not so wanton that she completely lost herself.  when Maura began to come, she opened her eyes, her gaze locking on Jane’s as she shuddered.

“Maura,” Jane whispered, pulling her close, “that was...”

“Mmhm,” Maura murmured.  But she wasn’t willing to let them lapse into contemplative silence yet.  She couldn’t bear it.  So she pushed Jane onto her back and begin to kiss her with force she didn’t completely feel, but it began to build.

She was pressing into Jane when she felt the brunette tense underneath her and she opened her eyes to see Jane wince.

“Shit, Maura...sorry...” But Maura was already pulling away, chastising herself for forgetting Jane’s injury so quickly.  She pushed aside Jane’s shirt and carefully touched the skin around the healing wound.

“Let’s go to bed,” Maura said, standing ad offering her hand to Jane.

She ran her thumb over the faint scar on the back of Jane’s hand as they walked the steps to the bedroom, the room most alien to Maura when it came to Jane’s apartment.  She was careful, almost hesitant as Jane climbed into bed, but Jane pulled her into her arms and Maura breathed in her warmth, catching Jane in a soft kiss even as  the brunette’s eyes began to droop.

She listened to the sound of Jane breathing in the silence for moments that were immeasurable.  And she questioned each impulse she had felt, coming ever frustratingly to no conclusions that she could hold fast to.  Maura opened her eyes, as if waiting for each answer to appear to her, but Jane merely rolled in her sleep, a soft sound of pain escaping from her lips before Maura could turn to comfort her.


	18. Epilogue

Kate shivered, stirring when she realized her body was exposed to the cool air of the room.  She pulled at the sheet, yawning.  Then she realized that she sheet wasn’t budging, and when she opened her eyes, she saw Megan’s hair splayed across the pillow.  She froze, and the night slowly came back to her.

When she got up, she was quiet about pulling on her clothes, and she carried both shoes, once she found them, in one hand as she crept out of the room.  It would have been best to have gone home, but Kate distinctly remembered wanting anything but that.  And she got what she wanted--in the things that didn’t seem to matter, she always got what she wanted.

But something made her turn around, gaze at Megan lying there.  She was beautiful, and even in her sleep she looked formidable.  Kate admired that, at least. Though, she wasn’t sure she could have this, not yet.


End file.
